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December 10, 2011
3:22
The Curious Case of YouTube Comment Bullies..
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I am sure we have all watched a video on YouTube and after it was done, we checked out the Comments dock to see what other people thought of it. Well if you are like me, you LIVE for YouTube comments. It's amazing how brutal people can be behind the veil of anonymity. These fools go all the way in, straight for the jugular and could care less about your feelings. I was watching a couple of videos of these guys who tape their conversations about entertainment, culture, politics, and sports *Enter 10 Minute Fix* and some of the comments following the videos were carry-me-out-on-a-stretcher hilarious. This one YouTube character in particular, "@ascorilactifed" made several guest appearances. This dude-- and I know he is one because he keeps saying he'd rather get all freaky-dicky watching some X-rated videos than waste his precious time watching the mess of a show that is TMF (his thoughts not mine), yet his ass stays on the comments dock after almost every video! Bipolar much? *side-eye* -- keeps cussin' up and down at the fellaz on the show and even has the nerve to suggest that my boo-thang Phinny (figuratively speaking) should break into the Adult Film industry instead. Now I am not a TMF stan, however, haters need to be checked every so often. So "@ascorilactifed" consider yourself checked! And honey, with a character name like that....#childplease

So anyway the point of this post is to place these bullies into their respective categories. Understand that these bullies transcend the limits of YouTube, and may even be people we know in our lives. Not all of them are salty like "@ascorilactifed" but they are still haters. So let me break it down for you all:

A. Subtle-shot throwers.
These are the fools who come off as sweet and syrupy to you, and their hate is hidden behind some eloquent speech and the facade of "I'm just trying to help". These are the people who come to your graduation party talking about "Congratulations BUT....you could have done better." *You graduated with a 4.72 GPA instead of a 4.75 GPA* These are the folk who say things like "Well great job on your little business endeavor" (emphasis on "little") *Your business happens to be a great success* Essentially, these are the people who offer you their un-wanted "expertise"--lack thereof really--- and try to tell you how you should run your ish, when quite frankly they are about two seconds away from going to rehab or prison or getting fired or getting evicted or dropping out of school or getting depressed because they have been stuck at their dead-end job for years. They are threatened by your success and progress, and therefore attempt to bring you down to their level. Subtle-shot throwers, mind your business and put your 2 cents in a trust fund 'cause "ain't nobody checking for it" *In my Nene Leakes voice*

B. "Salty-Nutz Production" (name courtesy of "@ascorilactifed")
These are the "@ascorilactifed" of everyday life. These are the people who tell you straight up they are not feeling you and act like they are about to give you a beat-down everytime they see you. Why? Because you're either doing something better than they are, or you're doing something they wanted to do but their salty behinds couldn't! Basically they hate you for no real reason other than the one their insecure minds have concocted. In relation to YouTube, these are the kind that tell Ciara to sit down because she can't dance. *Really?* These are the kind of bullies that need our prayers more than anything. If you fall under this category, let me give you my two cents: love yourself and thank God for what you CAN do! Also, stop comparing yourself to others because we are all blessed with unique abilities.

See how these YouTube Comment bullies are very much like people we know in real life? *nods* Well if you are thinking about posting a video on YouTube, please check your sensitivities at the door because you will get just as mush hate as you get love. This applies to the real world as well. This ain't brunch at your mama's house honey. This is life, so woman up!

#KGR
December 09, 2011
5:21
Authentic but still unique and sellable?...UN-CHECK!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Before anyone gets it twisted, let me clarify that I am very proud to be a Kenyan and I love my people.

As far as African authenticity goes, Kenyans are flatlining. Yes I said it, we are whack.com in that arena. While other Africans embrace their cultures and languages in their music and everyday lives, we are quick to dump, drop-kick, and dunk ours into the "deuces" basket. Seriously though, why do some of us do that?! I'm sure others in other African countries do this as well, but since I don't know about them I will stick to what I know. And before I get blasted let me address the counterarguments:

1. Why don't you blog in Swahili? My name is KGR and I am just as guilty of these crimes against culture.
2. Don't you speak English more than you speak Swahili? My name is KGR and I am just as guilty of these crimes against culture.
3. So you are trying to tell me that if you were an artist you would sing/rap primarily in Swahili? My name is KGR and I am just as guilty of these crimes against culture.
4. Girl please! So you are saying that you are a 100% Kenyan, 100% authentic all the time?! My name is KGR and I am just as guilty of these crimes against culture.

I think I covered everything. Let us begin from the top shall we...

A. Music

Uuum two words...Camp Mulla. Who let these kids drop out of school?! I will be fair and say their videos are tight and better than most HOWEVER....ain't nobody buying the whole Young Money Cash Money Part 2 Kenyan Edition act! It's cute and all and it's probably their style and that's cool but...sweethearts, I don't need to see Wiz Khalifa's-refugee-looking-behind-(please Amber Rose give that child something to eat)-wannabe acting a fool on your Addicted video. Honestly this move to try and be like the West is whack. Don't try and rap like Drake because Drake can do it better boo-boo. You are better off being the best version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else. That is why Kenyan artists who keep it authentic are more successful than the ones who don't. So Camp Mulla I'm not telling you to stop making your music the way you want to. That's your prerogative, so whatever. But maybe you should try and be in the hit zone. I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'. (Maybe you are)

I was going to address some other areas but my blogging mood is over, so catch y'all on the flip side. It's all love with KGR.
December 07, 2011
18:10
Take Action against Domestic Violence Today
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I just saw a very touching video of a girl who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend two years ago. While this story is only one in many, it hits close to home though because she went to my university and, even more than that, she was a ferocious women's rights activist and volunteered to help sexual assault and domestic violence victims. Essentially she was the most unlikely victim of domestic violence, yet it happened to her. Her name is Jana Mackey.

On average, more than three women are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day in the United States (Domestic Violence Resource Center). This issue is prevalent not only in America, but also around the world. Immigrant communities are affected as well. I have read of at least two separate fatal incidents involving Kenyan immigrant couples in this year alone.

I am very passionate about equality of human and civil rights for all human beings, and especially the protection of the most vulnerable groups in our society--women and children. I am not going to go off on a tangent and discuss injustice and lack of accountability (not to mention lack of political will in some countries) when it comes to protection of women and children, or lack thereof, but I will encourage you all to take action. Help a friend who may be at risk. Spread awareness. Talk about this. Death from domestic violence is so unnecessary and can be prevented. Take Action.

Watch the Video below and be inspired to #dosomething.

PS: This is an issue that affects men as well, and there are male victims of domestic violence.
#KGR
December 01, 2011
21:35
World AIDS Day...#2
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Side bar: It's been a cold minute but I'm back. A loyal fan of KGR (she will remain nameless but she knows herself, shout out to her) let me know that she has been feeling lost in the few days that I haven't posted to give her life meaning and direction. I thought that was funny...very true, but funny nonetheless. But anyway enough of that.

Today is World AIDS Day. I will break from character and be serious today. I was going to say something like all you hoes and ho-ettes get tested, but out of respect for all the innocent children born with HIV, and all the infected women and men who have subsequently perished or are still living with AIDS, I will be cautious in my word selection.

AIDS hits close to home for me. (Brace yourselves, its about to get deep). My close aunt passed away from AIDS-related complications in 2005. This was someone that I knew very well. I used to play with her kids, my cousins. She and her kids would come visit my family every holiday. She was my mom's favorite sister. I didn't know it at the time, but I loved her. Honestly, it hasn't hit me yet that she is gone. Like I will literally never see her again on this earth. That is a sad reality. What is crazy is that her husband passed away from AIDS almost a decade before she did. This was in the early 90s. My parents took her to get tested, and when the results came back, the doctor/nurse (not sure who) told her she was positive. Period, point blank, the End. She/he didn't explain what that meant, didn't give a prognosis, didn't suggest to her how to take care of herself. Nothing. So my parents and aunt walked out that day thinking that "positive" was a good thing. That she was fine! Now understand, AIDS was a relatively new phenomenon at the time and even my educated parents and aunt were not too familiar with it and its implications.
So my aunt went about her business thinking that she was alright! She was living with the virus and didn't even know it for nearly 10 years. Pause. All they new was that it was bad. Fast forward to 2005 when my aunt fell ill as a result of TB. She was literally gone within a span of 5 days from her diagnosis. She was only 39. She left behind four children, three under the age of 18.

Moral of this post: HIV/AIDS is serious. Get tested. If you are sexually active, it is imperative that you get tested. It is better to know than to not know.

I will be posting a follow-up to this later on today.
#KnowYourStatus!
18:49
World AIDS Day!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Good-day to all, and to all good-day!
All day today President Obama, former Presidents Bush & Clinton, Bono & Alicia Keys answer your questions in special World AIDS Day event. Check it out!

Stay tuned for a special World AIDS day post today from KGR!

#BLP
November 25, 2011
5:40
B.R.E.A.K!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

KGR is on Thanksgiving break! #willbebacksoon!
November 14, 2011
20:20
Nobody owes you a damn thing!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

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This past week I attended a conference in St. Louis where I met a man who may have just changed my outlook on life completely, or added to a change. Although I was trying to learn from him how to set myself up for success and develop myself professionally in the field I desire to work in, he gave me advice on that AND other personal matters. His name is Dr. Howard Adams and let me just say he is nothing short of amazing. What I like most about him is that, plainly speaking, he keeps it real! As in 100! He does not sugarcoat anything! He tells it like it T.I IZ! If you are sensitive, you will get your feelings hurt speaking with him. Trust! He admits to being nasty, but the best mentor anyone could ever have. Wow. Basically, in our conversation, I learned not to make excuses for anything because it's stupid. Not to depend on others for anything because it's stupid. Not to blame others for anything that happens in my life because it's stupid. Essentially, everything and anything that God allows to happen in your life is YOUR responsibility, so buckle up, quit making excuses, and take charge because it is YOUR life! Not Mary's life, not John's life, but YOUR life!This was a wake-up call for me. Lately I have come to realize that I have given so much to some people around me who have not reciprocated. I started to sulk and begrudge myself for helping people whose intention was to take advantage of me. I started to dislike them and distance myself from them. Then I spoke to Dr. Adams and I realized that all that was stupid. Bottom line is, nobody owes you a damn thing in life, and even when they do, they really don't. If you chose to give, be ready to live with the consequences whether they be good or bad, whether people appreciate you or not. You make your own decisions so be ready to accept the results.
So I am taking back my power today and accepting responsibility. I mean to be mean when I say this...If you have been helped by someone and you are acting like an ignorant, ungrateful, little prick, you have been marked and we know who you are. You have been briefed! For the grateful ones, continue doing what you do best. Needless to say, I chose to keep giving because my reward is not in anyone’s appreciation or acknowledgment! #BOOM
November 07, 2011
17:45
No...Rihanna is not going to be at this party. Stop playin'!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Disclaimer: I feel like these days I have to put a disclaimer on everything because people have become uber-sensitive and paranoid. Anyway, if you are an African promoter and you fall under the category above, aka "you so seeensitive," then you probably shouldn't read this because I'm about to go in!
How many of you have seen a flyer promoting an African party with a nameless, scantily clad white woman on it? *Everyone’s hands goes up* Better yet, how many of you have seen said flyer with a picture of Rihanna or Ciara or Beyonce from their respective album covers plastered across? *Everyone and their uncle's hands go up* Personally, I am sick of it and even take offense to it. I had posed a similar thought on my facebook status one time and I got mixed responses. The most egregious response was from this promoter who said that they put celebrities or white women on the flyers to encourage turn-out!....*crickets* Excuse me, now what now? *In my Nene Leakes voice* Like a good friend of mine said, dude (African promoters), give your average consumer more credit! We already know Rihanna and her entourage are not about to roll up in their fleet of luxury cars to your African club on the corner charging a $10 entry fee. We have already established that fact.
This pattern of behavior offends me because of the image and standards of beauty perceived and promoted by Africans themselves! It’s one thing for the rest of the world to impose an unrealistic standard of beauty on us, but when we take up this notion and absorb it whole-heartedly, then it just becomes pathetic, and really telling of our perceptions of ourselves as Africans. African women are a triple minority; 1^st we are women, 2^nd we are black, 3^rd we are African. African promoters, I’m sure you don’t even realize that you are doing this, but by putting a picture of a non-African woman on your flyer to promote your fully African party, you are sending out a message to African women that we are not beautiful enough or worthy enough to attract attention to your party. Yes, I understand that you are not trying to put your party in a box by defining it as only African, but let’s be real; your main audience and supporters are African, and while you are trying to suck up to an audience that may not even acknowledge your party as legitimate, you are doing so by subconsciously degrading the value of half of your true audience, African women.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am all about supporting my fellow Africans in their endeavors, and one of my very good friends is a certain promoter whom I love to pieces and who shuts parties in the Midwest all the way down! All I am saying is, let us all publicly appreciate and celebrate the beauty of African women!

PS: Real solution: If you want to promote a party, do like some other progressive promoters do, post pictures taken from a previous event, aka people who really attended your previous party, on your flyer.
November 04, 2011
19:34
So when did being a virgin stop being a good thing?
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Sex…it’s everywhere. You turn on the TV there it is. You flip open a magazine. There it is again. You drive by a billboard…guess who? Sex! I think the masses have been so saturated with sex and all its nuances that we have subconsciously associated virginity with being extreme, and maybe even a little odd! Seriously, casual sex is the norm and today, finding a virgin is like finding sense in what former President George Bush says!…IMPOSSIBLE ( I like ol’ George). Now I am writing from my own experiences living in America. I know/assume its radically different in African societies and possibly other non-American societies…maybe not so much European societies because those folk are all the way left!
The other day I was watching a preview of a show on the OWN Network and there was this 20 something year old woman who was seeking the help of a therapist because she was….wait for it….a VIRGIN! *crickets* Ok first, there is something inherently wrong with our society if we make something as pure as being a virgin a clinical case in need of the attention of a licensed therapist. Second, this chic is BOLD putting her business all out on the street like that…but that’s beside the point. So anyway the audience members were giving her the “girl you should be a travel agent coz you a trip” look, *in my Kanye voice* and the therapist suggested some “remedies” for her situation. If you’re interested in what those are, consult the internet because I am not about to propagate that nonsense here. My question is: what happened to the days when we would sneak the dictionary to the privacy of our rooms and look up the definition of “sex” and then look up the definition of the two body parts in the “sex” definition. I know for a fact I’m not the only one who did that!
I’m not here to preach to you and tell you what you should or should not do, HOWEVER, my blog is my voice and I will tell you what I think. So here goes: Know your worth. Know that you are special enough, unique enough, wonderful enough, and valuable enough to share that special moment with someone that you truly love. In street terms, keep your goodies on lock for someone who is willing to wait for you because you are WORTH the wait. I’m not saying till marriage (and I’m also not saying not till marriage). All I’m saying is do whatever you feel is right, but do NOT compromise your worth or respect. Whatever that means for you, accept it. And everyone has a past, even the "holier-than-thou" people I am referring to in this post http://aveana.blogspot.com/2010/12/keep-your-religious-haughtiness-on-that.html, but it is never too late to start valuing yourself again, and don’t let anyone ever tell you different. This applies to BOTH women and men, girls and boys.

My message in a nutshell, my own rendition adapted from the words of BBW LA cast member Laura Govan: if you’re a virgin, OWN it. If you are not a virgin but have decided to stop sleeping around with every tom, kanye, trevon, harry, Kelly, Lisa, Monique, and Shaniqwa, OWN it! If you are an undercover “hoochie”….GIRRRL/BOOOYY you best get tested!
October 28, 2011
21:24
#10minfix...you've been marked. It's about to get Real and Deep.
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I have a bone to pick with #10minfix. If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me break it down for you. #10minfix is a 10 minute video of a conversation between "a bunch of friends" who talk about current events and pop culture in the African community...mostly the Kenyan community but I haven't watched all the videos so I may be mistaken. Anyway the reason I have an issue with them is a particular video they made about the Miss Kenya Pageant in the US and African pageant contestants. The link is below so I would watch it first before reading my post. For the "clink on the link" impaired, it is Season 2 Episode 2
http://10minfix.com/

PS: I am biased and I'm about to go IIINNN! Stans be warned!

First of all, is it just me or has Leo lost some MAJOR weight?! You will have to watch the first episode to know what I'm talking about. Honestly Leo I didn't know that was you D!

But back to the matter at hand. The video. So they kick of the video talking about Leo's tryst in New Jersey with his girlfriend and side-booty (if I correctly understood their "sheng"...BTW did you know that Sheng is listed as an urban variety mixed language in Ethnologue! It's official!...but I digress). Not so interesting story line, but I was pleasantly distracted by Phi-ny's perfectly sculptured arm *werk* (not too hot about the tattoos but hey, whatever floats his boat). They were killing me softly with the corniness, and not in a good way, but I think, or at least I hope, it was for comical effect.

The reason I have this group marked...and I will affectionately refer to them by the acronym TMFG (10 minute fix guys), is because they were throwing shots at one of my best girlfriends and Miss Kenya USA 2009.
PSS: Like I said I am biased and now you understand why this video warrants a post. And just for the record, because of the nice person that she is, my friend did not take offense to any of the comments made and is not the brains behind this post, so you all can quit with the "get from behind the keyboard girl!" comments. I am mostly going in on these guys because I think they touched on beauty issues that have been, and continue to plague women.

Back to the post...so in a nutshell they pretty much said that my girl is not pretty enough to be Miss Kenya USA and that she has been so for the past "10 years" (Phi-ny...with your cute self just be, please don't talk). They may not have said the first part verbatim but that was the gist I got. To be fair, I do not think they were trying to be malicious with their comments, but what they said was an atrocity. I do understand that a pageant is about beauty, but it is also about talent, intelligence, and being a positive contributor to your community. Everyday women are judged by how they look rather than what they can contribute. It's hard for a girl/woman to go through life knowing that she has to impress not only with her brains, but also, and mostly, with her looks. It's a sad reality but it is what it is. This being said, it is imperative that as a society (parents, teachers, friends, media) we emphasize inner beauty and we encourage our girls to have confidence in their abilities, to strive for excellence, and most importantly to appreciate who they are and how wonderfully and beautifully they are created. I believe sincerely that EVERY girl ROCKS and that EVERY girl has so much to offer this world. This is my message to all guys and society: Give us a chance to show who we are on the inside. Yes, we appreciate the love you show us for our outside, but we are so much more than that.
TMFG, the message you were sending out with that video, unknowingly, was that outer beauty is paramount, more so than anything else. #nottrueandnotcool.

It's all love with KGR. One love TMFG!
October 26, 2011
17:33
M.O.G Update...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Like I knew it would happen, M.O.G stans have me marked and are probably digging needles into the makeshift vudu doll they have made of me...no wonder my stomach kinda hurts this morning. Anyway, I am a lot of things but unjust and malicious are not two of them. Just to be clear, I was not trying to throw shade at M.O.G, I actually like their music. But after being barraged with info that the group is actually giving back to their community, I guess it's only fair for me to say "M.O.G is giving back to their community."I was informed that they are involved in "Badilisha Mtaa," an initiative that seeks to help youth in the slums utilize their talents. That's two brownie points for M.O.G! But all kidding aside though, I'm glad that they are society-conscious, as they should be.

PS: This new info does not necessarily discredit what the certain youth director told me. However, this was over three months ago so the group probably had a change of heart and "picked their call"...or at least returned it. Either way, all is peachy now!

It's all love with KGR. So stans quit trippin and...#haveaseat.org
2:01
M.O.G...It's the youth from Korogocho calling. Please pick up!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Preface (seemed appropriate): From the title, y'all already know I'm about to go "iiinnnn" right? Well, you're wrong. I may go "iinn" but I will not go "iiinnnn" There's a difference. And besides, they get a slight pass because they sing about my best friend, Jesus. But only a slight pass.

In continuing with my "assessment" -if you will- of Kenyan gospel artists, I would now like to turn your attention to one of the most prolific male groups out there today, M.O.G. Quick question...are these the same guys who came out with "M.O.G mimi ni MOG Man of God" song, or did they steal the concept?#justwondering. Anyway, for a group that has recently been surrounded by controversy, these fellaz stay releasing records, and truth be told, their records are certified hits! (not a stan, just an observer). However, I will say that I don't know how I feel about them, especially after what I have heard. Now groupies, stans, fans etc, before you bring out your stank faces and start snapping fingers and taking off earrings, hear me out. I'm not here to spread any rumors and what I heard is first-hand and realer than a mug. As in Gucci. But I digress, anyway I was in Kenya over the summer and during a visit to Korogocho, the group's former hood, allegedly, (and YES, all you who think I am bougie, classist, and egregious, I visited a slum... 4 to be exact). ANYWAY, during my visit, I met with some of the folk who coordinate concerts and events in the slum in order to spread a positive message to the youth living there, and they shared with me that they have attempted multiple times to invite MOG, who formerly lived there, to perform, but they never get a response. Now whether this is true or not, I really don't know. There's always 3 sides to a story: his side, her side, and the truth. But regardless, I hope these are some haters trying to stir up drama (doubt it) because if it's true, it's not a good look. And with the drama from earlier this year (y'all know what I'm talking about, to get the low down read http://aveana.blogspot.com/2011/01/if-you-cant-live-it-please-dont-preach.html), MOG needs all the "good look" points they can get! And even beyond that, I think it should be a law that public figures, all of them but especially those from tough backgrounds, MUST give back to their communities and try to be positive role models for the youth. For now, however, its only a moral responsibility. Is this asking too much?
Anyway MOG, it's all love. You are spreading the Gospel so I can't be mad at that!...But seriously "don't be too busy to pick their call"
October 24, 2011
5:34
Friends who are not so Real...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Disclaimer: Before I start this post let me just say that I am not referring to any one person in particular. If you feel like this post is about you, well then there's probably a reason.

So I was in Kenya over the summer. While it was a great, gratifying, and exciting experience in terms of personal and professional development, it wasn't all that hot when it came to reuniting and reconnecting with old friends. I mean, to be honest I kinda sorta secretly wished for a homecoming party, for a national holiday in recognition of my return, for a citywide parade, something! But needless to say, those were some lofty dreams. But realistically, I hoped that my old friends would be mad excited to see me and would want to hang out. This wasn't the case for most of them. I must say, now I truly know who my true friends really are (Shout out to them, you know yourselves and I love and appreciate y'all). My true friends were genuinely happy to see me and made a concerted effort to hang out with me. Maybe I am sounding a bit selfish. You don't have to kick it with me if you don't want to. I mean I am an awesome person and too school for cool, but if you don't like to roll with the best, then do you boo-boo. And I do understand that people are busy and all that, but cutting through all the BS, who isn't.
But anyway my point is, if you find your old friends aren't feeling you too much anymore, then do like Cee Lo says "Forget them, and forget their new friends too!" Besides...you are most likely a star and they are most likely irrelevant, or as Evelyn Lozada so eloquently put it "NMFFs" (at least tell yourself that, it will make you feel better!)
Aah!...Fake friends. We all have them. We all love to hate them. We may even BE them. What are fake friends anyway?
4:08
Juliani...Where do I Start?!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I am in L.O.V.E with this man (figuratively speaking of course, so if he has a girlfriend/fiance/wife/partner this is not Confessions by Usher and I aint trying to be a homewrecker :-/ ) Anyway, now that THAT is clear --shout out to the haters who would have liked to start a mess but have now had their devious plans crushed-- let us move on to the positive...JULIANI! I have been told that my blog has been "anti-men" and that I have been "male-bashing." Well, my politically correct response has been "I seek only to empower young women and I leave any and all interpretations of my posts to the discretion of the reader." My Annie-From-the-Block response has been "If y'all (men) wouldn't mess up, then I wouldn't have to write about you!" But all that aside, I have found an exemplary exemplar (always wanted to say that) of a man who is so awesome, that I couldn't even hate on him if I wanted to! Juliani is not only a lyrical freakin genius, but he is also a man with a passion for his community. He is an environmentalist, and I read somewhere that so far he has planted about 400 trees in Kenya! Did you catch the part about him being an environmentalist?! I mean could this guy get any better?! While other artists (gospel and secular) are in the industry for fame and money (and other hoochie things), Juliani remains true to his calling, to himself, and to his community. He doesn't have to name a foundation after himself to prove that he is doing something great for his society, and he certainly doesn't have to "floss" with cars, girls, and other material things in order to show the world that he is a great success. I may be biased, and I probably am, but you know what?? The man is awesome, he is a killer artist, he seems to truly love God and want to spread the Gospel, and darn it!...I just LOVE him!
October 21, 2011
18:52
The Purging post...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

So I had a completely horrible day yesterday. I think I made it worse than it actually was, and I am probably blowing things out of proportion, but at the moment it seemed like a krappy day. Anyway, someone who I had completely forgiven, who I thought I would never speak to again (not to be malicious, but as a means of self-preservation because this person is P.O.I.S.O.N--and his own mother probably thinks so too), and that I was doing a pretty good job of forgetting about, suddenly popped back into my life like a Jack in the Box, only he was now out of the box and was trying to destroy my life (exaggeration). Yesterday I was furious, and mostly at myself because I thought I had failed at forgiving this person. You know what, I am a nice person. Even a GREAT person. I am the type of person that always wants to see the good in everyone. I "like" easily, I never initially think that someone has a hidden agenda, and most of all, I am kind. But my point is...yesterday I was completely turned off to this human being. And that's another thing about me, when I am turned off to you-- which is hard to do because I give so many chances --there is almost nothing that can turn me back on. Not that I won't forgive you or be cordial. No. I will be civil, yes, but friends or a rehash of what we were before, probably never.
So that is my little vent. Writing about this stuff really does help me feel better. So if you're reading this, thank you for your "reading eyes" which will sub for your "listening ears":)

PS: I was going to say earlier that "You may hurt me, stomp on my heart, spread lies about me, but if I initially liked you (girl or boy), I will forgive you." Then I realized that this may not be entirely true. I would forgive you, but it would need an intervention from Jesus, and like Steve Harvey says "He ain't done with me yet!"
October 14, 2011
7:32
IDENTITY CRISIS!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I struggle with my identity. Can you believe it. I am a grown woman (well technically an “emerging adult”) and I still struggle with my identity. ( I know I am only 21 so shut it with the "you're overreacting comments"). This struck me when I was about to make a presentation on South Africa and I struggled with how to pronounce APARTHEID! So what does any rational person do when they are faced with something they don’t know?! “GOOGLE THAT SH_T!” So I did…and I found a most shocking answer on Yahoo Answers. And it goes a little something like this…( I am paraphrasing) “If you live in America, you will pronounce it like A-PAR-TIDE, whereas if you live in Europe and Africa, you will pronounce it like A-PAR-THIDE. Well Dayum! I mean I already knew this. To be quite honest, I used to say it the African way when I lived in Kenya, and then I moved to the United States and I heard it said a different way, and I thought that the way I said it was wrong. So I started to say it the American way, very consciously. Why did I do this? Sometimes, I try to justify my actions, and the way I speak (yes I have an American accent…question is, is it conscious or not? Aaaah, and therein lies the rub…if that saying is even appropriate here) by saying that hey, I am both Kenyan AAAAND American. I mean this is true. Why should I denounce the culture that has given me so much opportunities, that has boosted my confidence in my abilities, that has empowered me, all because I was not born here and all because I am subtly forced by other Kenyans to do so? I don’t know anymore. I am still trying to figure it out for myself. Do you struggle with your identity…regardless of whether or not your situation is similar to or different from mine?
August 13, 2011
18:20
Oh What a Trip!...All it's cracked up to be? Maybe not!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Well ladies, gentlemen, friends, "frienemies", back-stabbers, haters, and anyone else I may have left out, good-day to all and to all good-day! I am back to my "normal" life after a two month long trip to the motherland. It was a trip filled with a balance of both triumphs and hardships! Honestly, I think people lie when they come back from a trip to Kenya and say that all they had was "MAD FUN." My experience was a little different. Yes, I did have a good time and it was a bit nostalgic to re-visit the places I had grown up and a lot intriguing to visit the places I had never been in-spite of the fact that I grew up in Kenya for a part of my life. However, I cannot say that I had "mad fun" and that I would do it again in a heartbeat. Truth be told, I felt kinda a lot homesick at times when I was there which is quite funny because it made me realize that I may not consider Kenya to be my home anymore. This is true; not to say that I am not patriotic and before all of you jump on me with your homemade machetes and what-not and call me a traitor, let me say that it is less that I consider America to be my home and more that I consider my home to be where my family is. Now that the record has been set straight you all can sit down and enjoy the rest of this post. Now, where was I...oh yeah I did not experience the phenomenon "mad fun" while I was in Kenya because I honestly felt like I was in a different place and it would take me a minute to adjust to my new environment. Yes, my weekends were filled with event-going. No, I did not quite experience the "party scene" like a true Kenyan would. Yes, I did spend a total of three weeks in Mombasa. No, it was not a crazy "fun" three weeks because two of them I was engrossed in work and rarely left the hotel premises. However, I cannot say that I regret my experiences in Kenya or my trip. I learned a lot. I met great new people...some not so great but that is a story for another day, and I also traveled and got to see new things which I am grateful for. Yes I had a good time and my own definition of "fun" and I do not regret it....more on this later but right now I "gots" to go, my hands are getting tired and well, my blog posting mood is about over. See you next time I promise to be back soon:)
June 07, 2011
4:45
The B%$@# is back! (uncensored version)
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I was watching Oprah Season 25 (the View on Oprah episode) and she was reading to Whoopi Goldberg something she had written about her in her diary years ago while they were both filming the Color Purple. Just then Barbara Walters chimed in and said she had never kept a journal and that she regretted that. I then thought "how lucky that you have a blog" and went on to scold myself on how lazy I have been in posting lately. I have indeed quite a lot to share on here and I will in short segments. I just wanted to put it back out there that I am BACK!
March 06, 2011
10:06
My name is South Africa
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I slayed some of his, he slaughtered most of mine but as brothers we still live. In peace love and unity questionably, but with a fierce will to personify the culmination of greatness, of development, and of advancement we must. So we walk and we smile, and we may even hold hands forgetting that not many moons ago you spit in my face and cursed the very land that birthed me. But Alas that is behind us and we move on. My name is South Africa.
February 13, 2011
5:47
Goodbye game Finale
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

So here I am again. Feeling stupid for letting you back in. Feeling betrayed, hurt, disgusted. Why do I keep making excuses for you when you are no good. So you take me to dinner and a movie and it's supposed to make up for everything?! You start to treat me like you're supposed to have BEEN treating me and I think "That's so sweet of him. He's really trying" Really? You tell me that you hate needy people (supposedly one of your biggest secrets)! I mean that should have been a red flag right there but no, I was still caught up in your web of deceit. You tell me that you have resolved to be more honest ( I was stupid for believing this). I tell you that I have resolved to be less forgiving and you tell me that I shouldn't do that. Was that your subtle way of telling me that you still need your reserve, you know when you hurt me again, I could always dip in and get some left over "forgiveness" to serve you. We actually did talk about things this time; it seemed as though we had made a couple of steps forward. Anyway, I had moved on, my heart was no longer intoxicated by you, it no longer jumped when I saw you. I was giving you a taste of your own medicine and it made you sick. I wasn't wearing my feelings for you on my sleeve anymore. I was merely just tolerating you but I should have known that you had the power to draw me back in again. I fell for you again and that was the second stupidest thing I ever did (the first was falling for you to begin with). It made my heart melt when you told me in a nutshell that you were jealous when you saw me with another guy and that you were upset that I wasn't as emotionally attached to you as I was before.I should have know better because once I did reveal my emotions and the one time I did mess up and admit and say I was sorry for it, you shut me out...Wow, that was cold!
You tell me that you're trying and I believe you. I still keep buying into your lies. You told me the childish BS was over. You told me you've changed. You begged for me to give you a second chance. You thanked me for giving you a second chance. I believed you. I believed you had changed. I believed that you were really trying. Yes, I do understand that some of the things you did were hard for you to do. I do appreciate your effort. I do appreciate you trying to be the mature man that I deserve but dammit....YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! You still don't feel the pain of losing me in your life because if you did you would be kissing the very ground I walk on. In truth, I am the best thing you took for granted. I am the best thing you will NEVER have! Even as I wrote that I thought, never is so harsh, so definite, so final. But that is exactly how I should feel. I am tired of giving you chances. Even if I wanted to give you another chance I couldn't. I am fresh out without any possibility of a refill.
Wow, I actually feel sorry for you because one day you'll wake up and realize "Damn I screwed up!" and by then it will be beyond late. The last time I wrote this I was blinded by anger and that got the best of me. Maybe I did not really take time to think through the hell you had just put me through and maybe that was why I let you back in so easily. I didn't even make you beg because I felt sorry for you. You took my compassion, and caring nature for weakness and I must admit that I had a role to play in it. I let you do it because a person only does to you what you allow them to, and I allowed you to do it. Well, today this is not written out of anger or bitterness, this is written out of justified and controlled hurt, from a bleeding heart that is on a journey to restoration. I write this from the end of this road. I have had enough. You have hurt me for the last time. It is truly over.
February 02, 2011
21:11
New day same story...what am I talking about really...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was just toxic for you? And I mean you knew you had to fumigate but something inside you always made you hesitate. Sometimes moments call for you to be just cold and get rid of this person in your life and girl (or guy) this moment is A-HOLLARIN! I just had to say that even though it has nothing to do with the reason for this post...

Well I just wanted to sign in again because I haven't written in a while. There is this really explosive topic I want to post but I would not do it justice if I posted it right this minute because I do not have the time! Just know that it is explosive (actually that is relative) and it is coming! ;-)

So yet on another distant, seemingly irrelevant topic...Does anyone think that the protestors in Egypt are about to stir up feelings of dissent that most people in other African countries struggle to surpress everday and it just might end up exploding?....yes?...no?...ok
#thatisall
January 04, 2011
5:51
If you can't live it, please don't preach it!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Before I start this let me preface by saying that before you point your finger at people, please make sure you're straight and can NEVER be found guilty of the same wrong….in other words, make sure your *ish* don’t stink!
So the other day I was reading an article on a Kenyan Gospel singer who allegedly (emphasis on allegedly) raped a 20 year old girl and got her pregnant. Quite frankly the details of the ordeal seem suspect to me. Apparently the girl was very sick and felt the need to go to the singer's house to "rest"…uuummm excuse me but lady don't you have a bed at your own house? *side eye* Anyway, what's even crazier is that the singer, allegedly, agreed for this girl to spend the night at his hospital….I mean crib! I mean, maybe he was just being kind and thoughtful but he should have known better than to spend the night alone with a girl un-chaperoned. See now if this was R. Kelly, everyone would have brushed the molestation off as an incident in this repeat offender's bizarre life. To bring it closer to home, if it was a fellow Kenyan, albeit, secular musician, we would have all gasped at the story, said our "I knew he was *ify*", and wallowed in self-righteousness at how we would NEVER do such a heinous thing, but by dinner time our minds would be engrossed in the next late-breaking story. This then begs the question, what is the difference between R Kelly, a Kenyan secular artist and this Kenyan Gospel artist? *crickets* hint: It's something to do with God.(SIDE BAR: Honestly I think the girl in the story above was trying to trap the dude but hey, what do I know. )
This was two months ago (although the story came out a few days ago). Fast forward to yesterday. So my friend calls me up and tells me some super EXPLOSIVE information about some holier-than-thou people and act-like-I'm-going-to-heaven-in-t-minus-3-seconds gospel musicians! Now, I am not one to spread rumors and I did promise my friend that I would not tell so I will say this…these people are not who you think they are. These people are liars and fakes. What I really don't understand is that if you know you're preaching something that you're not living why should you preach it at all? I mean, God sure ain't paying you 'cause you're double-dealing on Him anyway! I have run into a couple of gospel musicians who stand on stage and preach about faith, self-control, and being led by the Spirit but as soon as they step off that stage they are speaking a whole other language and doing the unthinkable. Somebody needs to tell these fakers that talk is cheap! If they would open up their bibles they would know that in James 3:1, God distinctly says that people shouldn't be too quick to assume the role of teacher or leader of the flock because they will be judged more strictly!While it might be argued that groupies have a way of wearing down a man's willpower it is still no excuse for a man that has chosen to live for the Lord and to be His messenger. You can't have your cake and eat it too; you can't want the benefits of living strictly for Jesus and still partake in the joys of immoral living ( I will not define this. Consult your bible). #just saying.Like I said before my friend/source (just wanted to say that 'cause I think it's cool) also gave me dirt on some people that I know who preach what they can't live. All I'm saying is I WISH one of 'em gives me their two cents on how I should live my life again…They need to put their 2 cents in a trust fund because I sure don't need or want it….STAAAANK!
December 22, 2010
2:23
PART 2: Maybe if I don't talk about it she will forget it ever happened BS!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Situation: Guy and girl have a fight. (details of the fight are irrelevant) Girl is really hurt by the fight. Guy decides to leave and consult his friends on his next move. His friends (guys mostly) tell him that he should give his girl her space and let her cool off "because you know how women are; always blowing things out of proportion and getting their panties in a bunch." So the guy in all his wisdom keeps his distance and when he thinks he has waited a reasonable amount of time, goes to the girl and DOESN'T talk about the fight. In fact, he talks about EVERYTHING but the cause of the fight, the events leading up to the fight, the events that occurred after the fight...basically nothing in the ballpark of the fight. Now the guy probably thinks he is doing the girl a favor by not bringing up the fight and all the emotions associated with it. In truth, he got over the fight seconds( or minutes depending on how soft he claims he isn't) after the fight and would like nothing better than to move on to other things like possibly getting some that night (or an equivalent of that depending on where y'all are in the relationship). Even when the girl does bring up the fight and wants to straighten things out, the guy is quick to say he is sorry and he'll never do it again (although he doesn't know what he is sorry for and WILL do it again) just so they could stop talking about it and forget the situation ever happened. End Scene.

Ok fellaz, you are NOT doing anyone a favor by not talking about the mess you created (often is your fault) and we, the ladies, exaggerated (ladies let's be honest, sometimes we do tend to make mountains out of mole hills!) When your girl wants to talk about the issue, TALK about it and don't be quick to take blame that isn't yours just so things could move on! Think about it this way: If you talk (and I mean open communication, like both parties SHARE questions, comments, concerns etc) about it now, the issue will not come up later and you can move on! Easy peezy:)...right? (confused look)
December 21, 2010
5:56
"I'm a guy" BS Busted Edition! PART 1:The not calling/texting/returning calls and texts BS
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Maybe I'm overreacting but then again maybe I'm not. I'm sorry group "MEN" but when you say you miss someone and you like someone aren't you supposed to call them, text them, return their calls etc. So what's this "I'm a guy and I don't like to do that stuff" nonsense that you guys use as an excuse ALL the time. It's really annoying to the nth degree. I get that maybe you all are not as emotional or expressive as women tend to be and maybe not replying to a text or a call to you is not that big of a deal on the large scale of things but would you all for ONCE put yourselves in a woman's shoes??? I mean even if you like to stay emotionally distant, if you know its gonna hurt the other person why would you still do it??? For the life of me I do not understand this! That's just being in-human!! If there is something you think that women do wrong that we need to address promptly and permanently then speak now or forever hold your peace. Until then...ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE, RETURN CALLS PROMPTLY, and TEXT REGULARLY! NO IFS, ANDs, or BUTS!!
December 19, 2010
22:58
FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME....I AM FINE!
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I'm glad you all are reading my blog but let me just make it clear that I am NOT suicidal, bitter, angry, depressed, and all that negative stuff! My stories are a COLLECTION of experiences and writing for me is a way of healing and a way of reaching out to others who may be going through the same thing! I AM FINE!! AND HAPPY because happiness is a choice! Thank you all for your concern but save your pity for the children in developing countries going to bed hungry everyday! And make it active pity at that (means DO SOMETHING!) Also, you will not be happy everyday. Sometimes you're sad and that's ok! Find something that will help you to channel that sadness in a constructive way! For me its writing!
December 18, 2010
8:16
Keep your religious haughtiness on that side of the room please...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Aren't you just tired of people who think they are better than you or are going to heaven faster than you just because they sing in the church choir or are in church front and center every Sunday?! I mean PLEASE! First of all isn't hypocrisy a sin?! No one is perfect and if you think you are well then why the heck are you not seated on the right hand side of God?! I know some young people who act so uppity and holier than thou it makes me want to gag...and often has. Don't get me wrong I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing your relationship with Christ on your sleeve, however, when you do it Fred Phelps style a.k.a in a manner that screams "I am going to heaven and you're not" then I think there is something seriously suspect about that. For all the people who have created major awkward situations by making me feel guilty for doing something that I thought was fun and age-appropriate this is for you:
1. You are young and there is nothing wrong with you having fun with your friends in a place other than the church compound (I did not mention any other alternative spots so before you hop, skip, and jump to conclusions keep that in mind.)
2. Even if you do not condone other "alternative hang-out" spots based on your own principles (do you boo-boo) do not sneer at others for not being as "wise and mature" (as if...) as you in making those same decisions. let people do what they do...I mean, who retired and made you Ethics committee chairman ( I don't know if it applies but hey...)
I still have a lot more to say about this but I will pick it up on another post. Bottom line: MIND YOUR BUSINESS!
Oh and on my next post I will be addressing those triflin' gospel musicians (very few, not all) who stand on stage and speak a religious language that their actions don't seem to comprehend and thus follow...I am very tempted to drop some names but this aint The National Inquirer!
December 12, 2010
4:43
It's just one of 'em days...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

I hate being the person everyone wants me to be. I have been that person for such a long time I don't even know who I am. I hate being told who I am supposed to be and how people are supposed to treat me and how people are supposed to think about me. SCREW EVERYBODY ELSE! Who cares what they think. I am who I am and if anyone doesn't like it they can go play in traffic! I want to stop trying to impress people unless they have something to offer me that I need! Yes I said it. I know it seems harsh but that is how the world is. Most of the time we are manipulating others to get what we want whether we know it or not. I think I have reached a point where I feel like I am so tired of humanity. I feel like everyone has an ulterior motive and is trying to hurt me. I feel like I have lost myself. I feel like I hate myself but only because I feel like people hate me or don't appreciate me anymore. I am going to stop being around everyone. I want to be by myself for a while. I am going to remove everyone from my face book account. I am going to ignore all calls and text messages. I feel like I have lost myself. I have meshed in with the crowd and I ABSOLUTELY hate that feeling. I am going through an self-crisis. I know what that means but I don't know how to explain it to myself. I thought I was done with this mess back in high school! I mean I am 21 years old and I still don't know who I am. After what happened a couple of days ago I feel like I have taken on a new personality. I have lost all interest in everyone but myself and my immediate family, I have taken on this cold persona that has high walls and will not let anyone in too close, and I have stopped caring what others think of me. Now I just want to be by myself. Maybe it's a phase and maybe I will get through it but right now I just don't care. I want to be by myself.
December 05, 2010
2:49
More YOU bashing...
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

Just to get it out of my system...

So all those times I let you get away with stuff even YOU felt guilty about did you think I was stupid? Did you think " I could do whatever I wanted to this girl but as soon as I say I'm sorry whether I mean it or not she will take me back." Did you think "even if she is mad at me she needs me more than I need her?" You are such a contradiction. You lied to me over and over and over again and to my face no less but every time I thought I was doing you and myself a favor when I forgave you, put a smile on my pretty mug, and said "It's all good; it's in the past; let's move on." Didn't you ever feel guilty for what you did? And you would talk about EVERYONE behind their back...even your own mother. Who does that?! And I was so silly I thought "well I'm special he wouldn't do that to me." I mean I completely forgot that whoever talks about others to you will talk about you to others. I'm sure when you let that person text me with that foolishness you had the spilled the beans on everything all the while making yourself look like you're innocent in all of this. What I can't believe is that you stood by and let it happen! I mean even men who cheat don't let their mistresses call their wives. They have boundaries. They put their foot down and say what can and can't be done. I guess that says a whole lot about you as a grown boy.
I told my family about you. I let you into my family. If nothing else should SHAME you, this should. I would love to say that I hate you and that I wish you become a failure, get the worst in life, and burn in hell but the truth is that I don't even care about you enough anymore to wish this on you. I really hope you fix yourself though because you're a mess and the worst part about is that you don't know it. But Thank you for making me realize my worth. I think the only good thing about this is that you have made me realize that I am the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of you and I would never want to be like you or know anyone who is. God forces me not to hate you but He doesn't force me to care about you so I won't and don't care. You are out of my system now...thank goodness for writing!
December 04, 2010
10:56
The POEM
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

To you who it WILL concern....So I shared this with you in the intimacy of our connection but you decided to desecrate it with your foolishness, insensitivity, and dare I say it COWARDICE! Well it was special only to you but now I have shared it with the world...so you do not own the rights to it as you previously did. Now its not yours alone anymore. Now you're not the only one who can put their name on it. Now it applies to any man I wish for it to apply to. I have TAKEN it back from you because in truth you never deserved it in the first place...you never deserved even the thought of it, even the mere semblance of a thought of it. Here it goes...out of your cold existence...out of my heartYour eyes tell of a deep beauty withinA beauty that goes deeper than a gem polished perfectA beauty that resembles a diamond uncutUnknown to any beingMistaken and overlooked yet potent and promising
You're presence takes me to a time, a memory, a placeIt's like I knew you in another lifePerhaps I was your King and you were my queenPerhaps I was your sun and you were my earthPerhaps I was your soul and you were my life
Is it silly that my heart dances every time I see you?Is it ludicrous that my soul wallows in a sweet miasma of joy every time I think of you?Silly or not I think that is nature's way of acknowledging a connectionLudicrous or not I think that connection is a beautiful thing
But after all is said and doneI cannot say all I want to yetBecause I do not know you how I want to yet I am willing to stay in this if you areWhatever this is…
The past was mired with hurt and uncertainty But the best quality of the past is that it is the pastThe foundation is setI want to forge aheadTo walk towards the sunWill you hold my hand?Will you come with me?
I pray that it is not too fast or too slowI pray that it is rightI pray that God blesses and guides our stepsI pray
And I thank you,Not for your kindness, not for your deedsNeither for your consistency nor your sensitivityBut I thank you for youWhether I have you for a year or a lifetimeFor-ever or for-neverIt would not matter because I have you for this second And in this second you have already made a home in my heartI am an African queen and tonight you are my American King
10:31
So....
» ‎ KenyanGirlRock

So this is going to be my controversial blog....the side of me that wants to be unhinged. That wants to say whatever I want to say whenever I want to say it without fear of rejection or backlash from anyone. So I have "goodbye game" on repeat for the last three hours. It's 3 in the morning and I am sitting here blogging, listening to "goodbye game," and feeling more empowered as time ticks bye. I just faced some nasty boy-krap this past two days and I think I just had an epiphany...I am leaving and it's over. I am tired of the excuses, the lies, the insecurities...EVERYTHING! I have had it! Like chrisette michele says, "I'd rather play alone...you can play the fool. I'mma be the hero you gon' be the zero"
And you know I blame myself for this as well. I put up with so much krap. I have heard the saying " a man only does to you what you let him" and I was always in denial about this. I was always so forgiving because I wanted him so bad...I don't know why though. I could not tell you. When he did the stupidest, most hurtful things that I am even still embarassed to write I let him get away with it. Well that's over and done with. I love myself way too much to put up with immature trash who is broken on the inside whether he wants to admit it or not. because you can't be that insecure, that triflin to people who consider you friends, that fake and not be broken on the inside. Wow its like I wanted to make up this idea of a prince that did not exist AT ALL. I completely lied to myself but he figuratively slapped some sense into me. Well I'm playing the goodbye game. I wish him the best but I what goes around comes around. What I can say with certainty is that I am a star and he missed out on the best. But I guess you can't put pearls (me) on a pig...#just saying

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