Mpasho: 50 Savage Break Up Responses To Annoying Exes 21 May 2019 - Break ups are a real pain.
But what made them bearable for these 53 individuals is the satisfaction they got from responding to their exes in a savage, yet witty manner.
Read through these hilarious texts to exes after a break up.
‘l have no access to guns!’ Jowie on bail application
Kenyan man gives hilarious reasons why he won’t date you
Mpasho: Devil's Lyrics! The Many Times, Diamond Prophesied Break Up With Zari 21 May 2019 - Diamond is a prophet. Everything he sings about comes to pass.
The bongo heartthrob prophesied his break up with Zari and his drama with Hamisa Mobetto.
Here are four songs that foretell Diamond’s turbulent romantic life.
Diamond foresaw being dumped by Zari in his 2015 song, Utanipenda. Less than three years later, the Boss Lady, Zari Hassan dumped the Wasafi Records CEO for...
Chillax: Has Saumu Sonko Broken Up With Rich Boyfriend? 21 May 2019 - Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko’s daughter Saumu seems to have broken up with her latest catch.
This comes just months after the couple launched a nightclub, Wakanda Club, in Westlands.
Saumu, who had taken a social media hiatus, on Tuesday hinted at a breakup after unfollowing her bae and his club.
She also posted a suggestive write up stating; “I make mistakes, I get myself in stupid situations...
Ghafla: Mr Seed Reveals His Debut Album Is Almost Done 21 May 2019 - Gospel Artist Mr. Seed is set to release a new album which will serve as his first ever album in his career. The singer shared the news with his fans via Instastory though he did not disclose the album details. The highly celebrated artist many believe is among the best in the Kenyan gospel music. Mr Seed says that he has being working on this album for two years now and is not yet done but will...
Mpasho: I Want To Prove Myself! Jowie Says As Monica Kimani's Family Opposes Bail 21 May 2019 - Slain businesswoman Monica Kimani’s family has opposed Joseph Irungu ‘ Jowie’ release on bail.The family on Tuesday revealed through their lawyer.
They said they needed more time to file replying affidavits explaining why they are against the accused being released on bail.
“We were only served one week ago and we have not had time to respond accordingly to the application,” the...
Chillax: Sobs, Applause As ‘Game Of Thrones’ Says Goodbye To Fans 21 May 2019 - After eight epic years, 47 Emmys, two dead dragons and lots of sex, “Game of Thrones” has said an emotional goodbye to devotees worldwide of one of the most popular shows in television history.
The blood-spattered tale of noble families vying for the Iron Throne wrapped with the 73rd and final episode of a ratings juggernaut that has demolished audience records worldwide and redefined...
Ghafla: Guardian Angel For “Kenya” 21 May 2019 - As Kenya still grapples with bad politics, Kenyans are still putting on a strong face to push through their frustrating days. This to at least make a living. Well this might not be ending anytime soon. Audiphaxad Peter, better known as Guardian Angel, is back to the Scene with a song Titled ‘Kenya”. Thankfully, the celebrated Gospel Afrorap and Dancehall Singer, Guardian Angel is...
Mpasho: Mr International! Why Naiboi Is Now Also Called ‘Morgan’ 21 May 2019 -
Singer Naiboi has changed his name to Naiboi Morgan after working with Jamaican reggae stars Morgan Heritage in their upcoming charity project, ‘Tomorrow’s Leaders Festival’.
Naiboi announced he is working with Morgan Heritage on Instagram after performing at the Wasafi Festival on New Year.
“Getting a call from my brothers and telling me I caught their attention at the...
Capital Lifestyle: Hidden Gem: Daejanggeum Korean Restaurant 21 May 2019 -
Tracy Wanjiru and Anita Nderu ventured to one of the ten Korean restaurants in Kenya. Daejanggeum Korean Restaurant / 대장금 located in a guest house on the corner of Ndemi Road and Killimani Road. Daejanggeum, or “Jewel in the palace” as Tracy and Anita explain, is based on the 2003 Lee Byung-hoon television series. One of the biggest television series in Korea at that time.
Mpasho: Fans React To Ghana's Asamoah Gyan Retirement Announcement 21 May 2019 - Ghana’s all-time leading goal-scorer Asamoah Gyan has retired from international football a month before the start of the Africa Cup of Nations, BBC reports.
His decision comes as he was replaced as Ghana captain, with Andre Ayew likely to be given the role in Egypt.
“If the decision of the coach is to give captaincy of the tournament to another player while I am named in the team (...
Chillax: Akothee Traumatized After Being Spanked By Rowdy Team Mafisi Fans 21 May 2019 - Kenyan singer Akothee has lamented on the trauma she suffered on stage during a live performance in Oslo, Norway at the weekend.
In a lengthy post on Instagram, Akothee narrated how rowdy fans grabbed at her person while others painfully spanked her derrière as she was performing.
Akothee however seems to blame herself for taking to the stage without the security of her bodyguards.
At some point...
Mpasho: Kenyan Teen Wants To Sacrifice Parents To Illuminati 21 May 2019 - An angry teen has recounted how his parents are so mean to him to a point where, if he had a chance he would sacrifice them to a cult in exchange for wealth.
Revealing this on the Toboa Telegram channel, the teenager said, “First let me remain anonymous
I am the second born of 4 staying with my real blood parents.”
Adding, “So these things started way back when I was in high...
Mpasho: Zari Mocks Hamisa After She Moved Out Of Diamond's ‘House’ 21 May 2019 - Tanzanian socialite Hamisa Mobetto has moved out of the house Diamond ‘gifted’ her.
Last year, Diamond’s mother bumped into Hamisa – as she was leaving the son’s house early in the morning – and they had a very public tiff.
Mama Diamond’s beef with Hamisa was that at the time, Diamond was still married to Zari.
She found it very disrespectful of Hamisa to...
Mpasho: Kayole Man Detained For Killing Son, 10, After Pooping In House 21 May 2019 -
A man suspected of killing his 10-year-old son in Kayole after he pooped and vomited in the house has been detained for 10 days pending investigations.
Daniel Odongo is alleged to have murdered his son by assaulting him, causing his death. Police said the suspect has been living with his son.
Investigating officer Edward Mlanda told the court that on May 16, Odongo who was staying with his son...
Mpasho: ‘L Have No Access To Guns!’ Jowie On Bail Application 21 May 2019 - Joseph ‘Jowie’ Irungu will know if he will be released on bail today.
Jowie together with Jacque Maribe were accused of killing business woman Monica Kimani in September last year, has been in custody since his arrest.
Today will be the second time he is applying for bail.
Previously he had made an application in the High Court seeking to freed on bond so that he could access medical...
Mpasho: Hot Mama! Celebs Who Are Effortlessly Zeggzy While Pregnant 21 May 2019 - Gone are the days when pregnant women dressed in baggy and unpleasant dresses. Pregnancy has now become something to look forward to that will not dent your fashion sense.
There are celebrities who have perfected this art.
Some of them are currently pregnant and some of them have delivered but all the same they have proven that you can still be pregnant and sexy.
Mpasho: Dear Women, Here Are The Things You Shouldn’T Put In Your Honey Pot 21 May 2019 - Feminine hygiene products have never been so brazen.
Where once marketers stuck to euphemistic terms such as ‘for intimate areas’ and ‘feminine wash’, now brands including Two L(i)ps, VMagic, The Perfect V and WooWoo (for women who ‘care down there’) want to openly sell you everything, from ‘soothing’ sheet masks and exfoliants, to moisturising ‘lips sticks’, fragranced mists, serums and even...
Mpasho: Careers You Can Easily Find Love And Meet Your Soulmate 21 May 2019 - They say that love can be found anywhere any day. It can be in a church, a brothel, a club or just at the local kiosk. No one really knows.
But did you know some careers provide a higher probability of you meeting your soulmate and life partner?
Below is a well prepared list of such careers.
1. Gym instructors
Most gym instructors are eye candy and it is not a surprise that some women have found...
Ghafla: East Africa´s Got Talent Show Auditions Kick Off In Mombasa 21 May 2019 - East Africa´s own Got Talent Show is one that was much anticipated and kicked off its pre-auditions in Mombasa county, Kenya. Gates opened at 6:00 AM with masses turning up for the competition irrespective of culture, social background or age. All turned up at Nyali School in a bid to scoop the ultimate prize in waiting, for the best talent across the East African region. Well, the next level...
Mpasho: How Judge Saved Mcdonald Mariga's Betting Job 21 May 2019 - A musician who endorses betting sued the Betting Control and Licensing Board for banning him from appearing in commercials.
Last month, BCLB issued a directive banning all outdoor advertisements of gambling.
Advertising of gambling on all social media platforms, ads on gambling between 6am and 10pm and endorsement of gambling by celebrities was outlawed.
This meant all the celebrities who are...
Capital Lifestyle: 19 Points. A Message To The Senior Singles 21 May 2019 - 1. You are not incomplete or less blessed just because you are not married
2. Expect to be sidelined by some married people, some church congregants, by some in society even in work gatherings just because you are not married. Know yourself
3. Expect some maried people to be defensive towards you, thinking you getting close will make them lose their spouse to you. You are not the problem, they...
Mpasho: Angelic First Lady! Meet Babu Owino's Stunning Wife, Fridah Ongili 21 May 2019 - Babu Owino has a stunning young wife. Her name is Fridah Ongili, she is is taking up her role as the first lady of Embakasi East with so much ease.
Recently, Fridah accompanied her hubby for a meet-the-people tour of Embakasi. They put up a show for the constituents.
Check out a video of the two dancing to a hit Ohangla tune.
View this post on Instagram...
Nairobi Wire: Somalia Ministers Denied Entry At Jkia 21 May 2019 - At least 3 government officials from Somalia were on Monday night denied entry into Kenya at JKIA, for lack of proper documentation. The three were part of a government delegation scheduled to attend the launch of an European Union sponsored programme in Nairobi.
They were reportedly carrying diplomatic passports, which would exempt them from Kenyan Visas, but they were denied entry anyway.
Mpasho: Teacher Wanjiku And Hubby Are Serving Couple Goals 21 May 2019 - Teacher Wanjiku is loved by many for her wit and comedy. But behind that character is a woman who wears hats. She is a wife and mother.
The comedienne whose real name is Caroline Wanjiku tied the knot in 2014 to Victor Ber.
Victor might not be much in the limelight but Teacher Wanjiku is not shy to flaunt the man in her life.
Celebrities who are likely to make news this week and why
Mpasho: Ethiopian Bae Shows Love To Otile Brown After Cheating Scandal 21 May 2019 - Kenyan celebrity Otile Brown has done his best to ensure he doesn’t lose the love of his life.
Not so long ago, the Kenyan singer introduced Nabayet, an Ethiopian lady, as his woman.
Otile refers to her as the ‘one who changed me.’
Nabayet and Otile Brown during his birthday at a Children’s home
‘Wakenya watanimaliza!’ Eric Omondi on breakup rumours with Chantal...
Nairobi Wire: Nairobi Bar Owner Jailed For Life 21 May 2019 - A Nairobi based bar owner has been sentenced to life imprisonment for raping two minors.
Samson Mburia Gakono defiled two 7-year old girls in September 2013, after leading them to his house. It is said that the children were playing in a field at Maili Saba in Kibera when Samson approached them and lured them to his house by promising them gifts.
The girls followed him and it is reported that the...
Mpasho: Karma Is Merciless! Thief Falls To Death During Attempted Robbery 21 May 2019 - Tenants in Nakuru town were shock to stumble on a dead man in a commercial building
The middle aged man fell to his death from a commercial building as he allegedly tried to access it in a botched robbery attempt.
The man, who could not immediately be identified, is suspected to have gained access through the top of the building, but fell from 5th floor to the 1st floor of the building.